


Self Destructive

by Bereus



Series: Self Destructive [1]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Academy Era, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Arranged Marriage, Awkward Romance, Drabble, F/F, F/M, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mentioned Blue Lions Students (Fire Emblem), One Shot, Reader is Not My Unit | Byleth, Slow Romance, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, no beta we die like Glenn, reader is not byleth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:28:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22467889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bereus/pseuds/Bereus
Summary: Resting their arms hesitantly around his forearms, Y/n looked back up to Sylvain, their mouth pursed. Pushing their anger and guilt down they forced themselves to speak through the lump in their throat in the tense atmosphere, their voice coming out as barely a whisper. “No. I won’t. Because you need to hear this. You aren’t Miklan. And whatever warped perception you have needs to be cleared up. I’m sick of seeing you self destruct over your guilt towards Miklan. You’re better than this. You may be giving up on yourself. but I never will.”OrSylvain announces his arranged marriage to the Blue Lions and is confronted by the Reader on his self destructive habits.
Relationships: Sylvain Jose Gautier & Miklan, Sylvain Jose Gautier & Reader, Sylvain Jose Gautier/Reader, Sylvain Jose Gautier/You
Series: Self Destructive [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1646008
Comments: 8
Kudos: 66





	Self Destructive

**Author's Note:**

> I've watched the new Little Women twice now in theatres. The first showing is actually what prompted me to start writing again and after the second showing I wanted to write about Sylvain either being beat up by the girls he's led on or in a forced arranged marriage. The reader could've easily been another Blue Lion because they all care about him, I imagine Felix or maybe Ingrid could also fit this scenario of chewing Sylvain out because they know him deeply and care about him. But I'd rather write a reader insert because I'm able to control the insert more.

“This is the woman I am going to marry.” Sylvain told the Blue Lions as he introduced his fiancé with a polite gesture, his posture stick straight and a perfect smile on his face.

Their classmates clapped and gave Sylvain their earnest well wishes, some more genuine than others, based mostly on how well they knew Sylvain. Many worried glances searched Sylvain’s face to find the truth of the matter, but his well practiced expression never faltered. 

Normally Y/n might have joined in congratulating and wished him well, but the words he uttered had frozen them. A fire lit itself in their stomach as they turned their gaze away from the elegant noble woman’s left ring finger to stare heatedly at Sylvain. They felt dumbfounded by the lack of emotion in his voice. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Sylvain was not the only one taken aback by their abrupt comment as their classmates attempted to hush Yn before they made a scene while others put a comforting hand on their shoulder in order guide them away. The stupid smile on Sylvain’s face flickering as his expression twisting from polite to confused in seconds as his eyes flickered between them and their classmates. “Excuse me?”

Rage burned in Y/n’s belly, shrugging the hands off their shoulder, balling their hands up into fists in Sylvain’s officer jacket, they pulled him out of the Blue Lions classroom, away from his fiancé. Dragging the skirt chaser into one of the utility closets. They knew how rude their actions were just then, but Y/n couldn’t find themselves caring enough to apologize to anyone as they dragged Sylvain into the ill lit closed space.

“What is your problem, Y/n?” Sylvain exclaimed as Y/n shut the door. 

Spinning around to face him they shook their head in frustration, teeth grinding in an attempt to stem their anger. When Y/n finally responded, their voice was gruff. “I am so tired of seeing you make terrible life decisions, Sylvain.” 

Sylvain took a step back, though his confusion quickly washed away to mirror Y/n’s own expression, anger radiating all over his body. “Well you just know everything don’t you?” 

“I know that you’re making a gigantic mistake!”

“Oh? And how’s that?”

“Do you even love them Sylvain? Because if not, then it’s a mistake to marry them.”

Sylvain paused, taken aback before rolling his eyes. “You wouldn’t get it.”

“What am I not supposed to get? That you’re only doing this because your parents told you to?”

“Watch yourself Y/n.” Sylvain ground out in warning.

Normally Y/n might have heeded his feelings and dropped the subject, but with anger coursing through their veins, any rational thought flew out the window.

“Don’t you dare try to spin this on me! I’m really disappointed in you, Sylvain. I have known you for years. Seen you struggle with your family issues over your crest.” Sylvain shook his head in anger, giving Y/n a look that told them to stop, but they continued on with little hesitation. “I’ve seen you fight back the only way you knew how. How you’ve struggled to overcome being seen only as a crest bearer...And you’re just going to give up the second your parent’s order you to marry some noble girl you don’t even love?” 

Y/n’s voice trailed off at the end as they stared up at the red head, eyebrows knit together in disbelief. 

“Stop it.” Sylvain snarled.

“I’ll stop when you stop being a pompous ass.” Y/n huffed, stepping closer to him, and closing the distance until they were practically nose to nose.

Sylvain leered down them, his hot breath mixing with theirs. “This isn’t about you.”

”It sure isn’t. This is about you. How you’re better than this. Better than the mold your parents and ancestors have made you out to be.” They responded by repeatedly jabbing their finger into his chest, emphasizing every word. 

”Why can’t you get it through that thick head of yours how important you are to the people around you?” The sentence dissolving into nothing as Y/n let the hand they had been pounding on his chest rest against it in an attempt to calm their erratic heartbeat that was practically beating in their throat.

The silence that followed was stifling. The two surveying each other with heated looks, waiting for the other to speak up. The fourteenth bell of the hour rang to inform students that free periods were now open, effectively breaking the tense quiet. 

Yn spoke first, their voice wrung with desperation. “It’s not just me. We’re all worried about you, Sylvain. You throw yourself at any woman who so much as glances at you, yet you act as though you’re the injured party when you break their heart. You don’t need to do that to yourself or any innocent bystander. There are good people out there. You may have to sift through the bad ones to get to people who care about you, but you will find them. Every single one of us in the Blue Lions cares for you. And if you would get your stupid head out of your ass you would see that we are here for you. I’m here for you. I care about you.”

The sudden taste of iron from where he had been biting the inside of his cheek overwhelmed Sylvain. 

The redhead let out a raspy broken laugh before wrapping his hand onto the wrist resting on his chest, his smile morphing into a terrible scowl that reminded Y/n of Sylvain’s older brother. “Stop trying to control me. You act like everything in the world can be fixed with the right outlook on life. But it can’t. No matter how much I wish it, life isn’t like that. Not everybody can be like you and go about smelling the flowers and tell other people how to live their life!”

“That isn’t what I do!” Y/n attempted to argue, as they snatched their arm away from Sylvain’s grip which had unconsciously begun to tighten.

“I can’t fight my parents. It doesn’t matter how much I act out to them because they’ll always overlook it. Do you know why? Because I was born with a crest, and Miklan wasn’t. He died because of me. He was thrown out of the Gautier estate and lost any birthright that should have been his because he wasn’t born with a crest. I can’t help but wonder if he was born with one and I wasn’t...What would have happened? Would I be dead and he alive?”

Y/n’s eyebrows unknit themselves as they stared up at Sylvain in disbelief at his words. Their mouth parted to say something, but the words wouldn’t come out as they stared in guilt at the tears pooling in Sylvain’s eyes.

“If you have all the answers then why aren’t you speaking up!” Sylvain choked out. His voice rising in decimals with every word. “What you don’t? Then don’t you dare think for a moment, you have the right to lecture me.”

“You’re right. I can’t relate because I wasn’t born with a crest or into nobility. But-”

Sylvain grabbed Y/n by the shoulders, shaking them as he cried out in frustration. “Damn it, Y/n! Why won’t you just shut up for one moment.”

Resting their arms hesitantly around his forearms, Y/n looked back up to Sylvain, their mouth pursed. 

Pushing their anger and guilt down they forced themselves to speak through the lump in their throat in the tense atmosphere, their voice came out as barely a whisper. “No. I won’t. Because you need to hear this. You aren’t Miklan. And whatever warped perception you have needs to be cleared up. I’m sick of seeing you self destruct over your guilt towards Miklan. You’re better than this. You may be giving up on yourself. but I never will.”

Sylvain shook his head, his arms trailing up from their shoulders to the base of their neck until they at last settled on the side of Y’/n’s face, his nose scrunching up in an effort to not cry. “I’m not. You need to stop. You can’t control me, so stop trying. Stop it.”

“I’m not trying to control you. A-and I’m sorry if it comes off that way...But you deserve better! You’re upset because I’m saying the things that you don’t want to hear. But you need to hear them. You need to realize that yes, you may have been born into a noble family that values crests over real relationships, but that doesn’t mean it has to stay this way. You can change the way crests are viewed in society. Show that they don’t determine one’s worth. You can’t wait for someone else to begin the change you want to see in the world.” Y/n said as they gently wrapped their fingers around Sylvain’s wrists.

It was almost palpable shift in the room. The cold stare Sylvain directed at them freezing over any semblance of vulnerability he had just displayed. The fingertips resting on Y/n’s cheeks creating goosebumps on their skin.

“Do you know what I want to see? I want to see you leave. Get out of my sight. I’ve had it with you.” Sylvain quietly said at last. His face void of emotion but the shaky tone in his voice giving him away.

It was a feeling of frustration that caused Y/n’s vision to blur. The realization that they couldn’t help him because he didn’t want it. Tears steadily bubbling over their vision until they at last streamed down their cheeks and wet Sylvains hands. “Screw you.”

Uncomfortable with the display in front of him, Sylvain shifted his gaze away. His hands gingerly retreating from Y/n's face, hovering for a moment before falling limp by his side.

“I’m so tired of fighting with you. And I can’t do it anymore...I just can’t. Please just go. Leave.” He pleaded and stepped as far back as he could in the tiny supply closet.

The distance instilled a coldness that numbed both parties, eliminating the heated debate that had taken place in close proximity, and instead leaving only emptiness in both parties stomachs. 

Sylvain let the silence sit between them as thick tears streamed down Y/n’s face. His shoulder’s fell slack as if the fight had left his body. Minutes passed in dumbfounded silence as the two attempted to collect their emotions. Pulling themselves back together as best they could, Y/n scrubbed the tears away from their puffy tear stricken face. 

Taking a shaky breath Y/n looked up once more at Sylvain. 

“...Fine, Sylvain. Go back to your family estate and keep not living up to your potential. You quitter.” The words practically biting at the end.

The words were meant to sting, and judging by Sylvains expression they had as his face quickly morphed from guilt to cold fury. His tall body shifted until it towered over Y/n’s frame.

“I said go away.” Sylvain growled out, his voice laced with finality. 

It was a conversation that should’ve been handled more delicately in a more appropriate place than a supply closet. Instead tempers had flared and Y/n felt an anvil drop on their chest as they realized they had ruined their friendship with someone they considered a close and dear friend, practically family.

“Fine.” Y/n barked before pushing him away from them and leaving the supply closet, giving Sylvain one last hateful look before marching off to the dorm room’s.

**Author's Note:**

> To be continued?...
> 
> To be honest I thought this was going to end on a happy note, because I like happy endings and I typically only read happy endings. But period Kenna is not nice to her muses. Plus it's fun to write angst I'm not going to lie. I have a deep love for unrequited love fics (That end happy.) 
> 
> Just between you and me. I don't love the reader in this story, but they serve a purpose in the story even if I feel like I wrote them a bit antagonistic. I don't want it to come off that I think all women/reader inserts should serve as unlicensed therapists for guys with baggage, because that's a whole other conversation. So I hope I wrote it well enough that it comes off more as a friend who cares deeply. But dialogue has never been my strong suit. Nevertheless I am proud of this fic.  
> I want to write for other characters that I love in the series though, like Claude in particular. He's my favorite in FE3H, but he's so complex and manipulative that writing him from any perspective intimidates me hardcore. 
> 
> Thanks again for reading and please comment what you thought! Comments are major motivators for me in writing and let me know what my audience is thinking.


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